I've never been all that interested in money. It's something I was born into and I've earned plenty of it through my work, but that's not what what drives me. I write manga because I want to be read. Money and fame mean nothing to me.
I've never been interested in gaining the approval of others either. I was made a pariah for a length of time thanks to Cassel. The intensity of the others' disapproval has waned since then, but I don't doubt they still view me through his narrow perspective. They still doubt my competency and question my position as a warden because they're afraid of me and because I refuse to adhere to their dichotomous understanding of the world. They're free to think of me how they wish, it holds no bearing on what I am capable of or what I will do.
As for my loyalty towards you, I believe that should speak for itself by now, Miss Zacharov.
That's what's getting me. I believe everything else. All the rest of it makes sense. I even believe that you wouldn't lie to me, at least not on purpose.
But loyalty — that's something that needs to be earned.
I'm having trouble comprehending how it happened in my absence. The evidence you presented was compelling to you, I think, but it's not something that I entirely understand.
I'm starting to believe we just have very different standards.
Of course we do. We have different life experiences and different values.
I freely admit that some of my initial interest towards you was simply because I could see for myself the narrative Cassel had created about his relationship to you and what you are rather than who you are was childishly constructed by stretching and ignoring the truth.
At first, I only wanted to know the whole of your truth to satisfy my own curiosity, but I gained a greater appreciation for you even in the short time you were present on the Barge. In the end, you gave your truth to me willingly and freely because you trusted me not to distort it the way others had. And it was important to me that it was given. That has less to do with the potential repercussions for abusing my abilities and more to do with not becoming yet another person who attempted to steal you from yourself.
I respect you and I don't give my respect away easily. That's something that must be earned.
Right. And I'd be glad I earned it if I remembered doing it. But I don't, and that makes me feel fucked with. Not by you, obviously. Probably obviously.
Look, I'm glad for your respect, but the fact that I don't remember earning it — that I remember a whole fake life with you but not that, which is the most important thing — that pisses me off. I'm not asking you to fix it, I'm just stating for the record that I'm pissed.
If it was within my capabilities to have you remember, I would.
[Is that needless to say? Perhaps since she's not asking him to. But he would if it were in the realm of possibility. Unfortunately, Rohan doesn't believe it is and those memories, to her, are lost.]
My only advice to you is not to discount what you remember of that life. The details and specifics are false, but your experience of it is your own to reflect upon as little or as much as you'd like. In the end, you will determine for yourself which sentiments were true and expunge those that came as a by-product of the constructed lives we were given at your discretion.
I'd say that's far more than you had when you first arrived.
No, but I have few qualms over taking advantage of others being so dim and unobservant that they can't see what's clearly happening right in front of them.
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I want to know what's real.
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Is this a conversation you'd prefer to have face-to-face?
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I've never been interested in gaining the approval of others either. I was made a pariah for a length of time thanks to Cassel. The intensity of the others' disapproval has waned since then, but I don't doubt they still view me through his narrow perspective. They still doubt my competency and question my position as a warden because they're afraid of me and because I refuse to adhere to their dichotomous understanding of the world. They're free to think of me how they wish, it holds no bearing on what I am capable of or what I will do.
As for my loyalty towards you, I believe that should speak for itself by now, Miss Zacharov.
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But loyalty — that's something that needs to be earned.
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I'm starting to believe we just have very different standards.
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I freely admit that some of my initial interest towards you was simply because I could see for myself the narrative Cassel had created about his relationship to you and what you are rather than who you are was childishly constructed by stretching and ignoring the truth.
At first, I only wanted to know the whole of your truth to satisfy my own curiosity, but I gained a greater appreciation for you even in the short time you were present on the Barge. In the end, you gave your truth to me willingly and freely because you trusted me not to distort it the way others had. And it was important to me that it was given. That has less to do with the potential repercussions for abusing my abilities and more to do with not becoming yet another person who attempted to steal you from yourself.
I respect you and I don't give my respect away easily. That's something that must be earned.
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Look, I'm glad for your respect, but the fact that I don't remember earning it — that I remember a whole fake life with you but not that, which is the most important thing — that pisses me off. I'm not asking you to fix it, I'm just stating for the record that I'm pissed.
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[Is that needless to say? Perhaps since she's not asking him to. But he would if it were in the realm of possibility. Unfortunately, Rohan doesn't believe it is and those memories, to her, are lost.]
My only advice to you is not to discount what you remember of that life. The details and specifics are false, but your experience of it is your own to reflect upon as little or as much as you'd like. In the end, you will determine for yourself which sentiments were true and expunge those that came as a by-product of the constructed lives we were given at your discretion.
I'd say that's far more than you had when you first arrived.
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I don't think you'd do that. The person you are, I don't think you'd pretend to be any less brilliant than you know yourself to be.
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