[Rohan gets a few steps ahead of her. He knows she stopped from her dropping out of his peripheral and the rough sound of the skate wheels and brakes scraping on the cobblestone. But he still takes a few steps ahead of her before he comes to a much softer stop than she does, a gradual decline in speed and length of stride until he's still in front of her.]
[The first and only thing he can think of is how frustrated he is. It's the immediate thought that leaps into the very front of his mind, his hands clenching into fists at his sides so tightly that his nails dig into his palms painfully. It's a long stretch of silence as he stands there, back rigid and with his heart pounding loud in his ears. It's not until his jaw begins to ache that he loosens it a little.]
[Afraid of people? Him? Please. The last thing Rohan ever has to be is afraid of people. Being careful about who he trusts with Heaven's Door, keeping his Stand hidden even here, isn't fear. It's being careful and cautious. It's not taking the naive view that somehow the danger's passed. But why would she understand something like that? She's dead. There's very little that can do anything to her anymore. And she's not a Stand user. She doesn't understand the trouble that attracts even if you live a relatively quiet life the way Rohan does. She doesn't understand that Heaven's Door has a very specialized use and there's no need for Rohan to have him summoned all the time like some of the others around here. Him. It.]
[He stews in his frustration long enough to reach the boiling point, where whatever tight control he has simply evaporates as he turns around to face her. Simultaneous to this motion, Rohan summons Heaven's Door, leaving his Stand to float just behind his shoulder. It's so quick that it seems almost as though Heaven's Door has been violently torn away. Heaven's Door regards Reimi with a cooler expression than Rohan, but it's carrying the same tension in its fists and shoulders.]
You told me you wanted a chance to know me, to believe in me, but what chance have you really given me, Reimi!? [Rohan holds out an arm behind him to gesture to Heaven's Door.] Do you really think that if you say one second that you understand Heaven's Door is an extension of who I am and then in the next compare it to the monster in a movie that I'm going to be all that eager to have Heaven's Door anywhere near you or make it a conversation topic!?
[He lowers his arm back down at his side as he continues.]
It's not Heaven's Door you're afraid of because it can't make decisions on its own. [Rohan brings a hand to his chest, laying it flat over his heart.] I'm the one who decides when and how it acts. So whatever you think it might do to you? That's not trusting me! That's being afraid of me! And don't you dare lie to me and pretend like you haven't had a single thought like that, worrying not about how much damage I could do, but how much I would do. Don't you dare act like it's never crossed your mind that all it'd take is a foul mood or someone who pisses me off, and just like that I'm getting back at them with Heaven's Door.
The thing I don't think you think about it is what that's like for me. You don't have a single fucking idea what it's like to have the person who died for you think of you like that even for a second! You want to see through my eyes, then fine. I'll tell you exactly what I see when I look at you. [Rohan closes the distance between them to stand directly in front of her. Heaven's Door hangs back.] I see someone who doesn't trust me or believe in me anymore, and is the only person who can actually make me feel this shitty. And that was before you even knew about any of my mistakes because the truth is Reimi, I don't know you. It wasn't just that night that I can't remember. I can't remember any of it. You died for me and I forgot about you!
So, you tell me! Why do you think I want you to understand so badly!? Why do you think I avoid you as much as I can!? [He shrugs and his eyes burn, but he refuses to give her anything further.] I'd love to hear what you think!
no subject
[The first and only thing he can think of is how frustrated he is. It's the immediate thought that leaps into the very front of his mind, his hands clenching into fists at his sides so tightly that his nails dig into his palms painfully. It's a long stretch of silence as he stands there, back rigid and with his heart pounding loud in his ears. It's not until his jaw begins to ache that he loosens it a little.]
[Afraid of people? Him? Please. The last thing Rohan ever has to be is afraid of people. Being careful about who he trusts with Heaven's Door, keeping his Stand hidden even here, isn't fear. It's being careful and cautious. It's not taking the naive view that somehow the danger's passed. But why would she understand something like that? She's dead. There's very little that can do anything to her anymore. And she's not a Stand user. She doesn't understand the trouble that attracts even if you live a relatively quiet life the way Rohan does. She doesn't understand that Heaven's Door has a very specialized use and there's no need for Rohan to have him summoned all the time like some of the others around here. Him. It.]
[He stews in his frustration long enough to reach the boiling point, where whatever tight control he has simply evaporates as he turns around to face her. Simultaneous to this motion, Rohan summons Heaven's Door, leaving his Stand to float just behind his shoulder. It's so quick that it seems almost as though Heaven's Door has been violently torn away. Heaven's Door regards Reimi with a cooler expression than Rohan, but it's carrying the same tension in its fists and shoulders.]
You told me you wanted a chance to know me, to believe in me, but what chance have you really given me, Reimi!? [Rohan holds out an arm behind him to gesture to Heaven's Door.] Do you really think that if you say one second that you understand Heaven's Door is an extension of who I am and then in the next compare it to the monster in a movie that I'm going to be all that eager to have Heaven's Door anywhere near you or make it a conversation topic!?
[He lowers his arm back down at his side as he continues.]
It's not Heaven's Door you're afraid of because it can't make decisions on its own. [Rohan brings a hand to his chest, laying it flat over his heart.] I'm the one who decides when and how it acts. So whatever you think it might do to you? That's not trusting me! That's being afraid of me! And don't you dare lie to me and pretend like you haven't had a single thought like that, worrying not about how much damage I could do, but how much I would do. Don't you dare act like it's never crossed your mind that all it'd take is a foul mood or someone who pisses me off, and just like that I'm getting back at them with Heaven's Door.
The thing I don't think you think about it is what that's like for me. You don't have a single fucking idea what it's like to have the person who died for you think of you like that even for a second! You want to see through my eyes, then fine. I'll tell you exactly what I see when I look at you. [Rohan closes the distance between them to stand directly in front of her. Heaven's Door hangs back.] I see someone who doesn't trust me or believe in me anymore, and is the only person who can actually make me feel this shitty. And that was before you even knew about any of my mistakes because the truth is Reimi, I don't know you. It wasn't just that night that I can't remember. I can't remember any of it. You died for me and I forgot about you!
So, you tell me! Why do you think I want you to understand so badly!? Why do you think I avoid you as much as I can!? [He shrugs and his eyes burn, but he refuses to give her anything further.] I'd love to hear what you think!